Internal Family Systems with Lillie Perree

"IFS is a transformative tool that conceives of every human being as a system of protective and wounded inner parts led by a core Self. 

We believe the mind is naturally multiple and that is a good thing. Just like members of a family, inner parts are forced from their valuable states into extreme roles within us. Self is in everyone. It can’t be damaged. It knows how to heal. 

IFS is frequently used as an evidence-based psychotherapy, helping people heal by accessing and healing their protective and wounded inner parts. IFS creates inner and outer connectedness by helping people first access their Self and, from that core, come to understand and heal their parts. "  IFS Institue 

Western individualism has promoted the idea of one self and individualism.  IFS at the core promotes multiplicity. or what we like to call parts of ourselves

Naturally we use phrases like

"...a part of me wants"

".... I just didn't feel like myself"

"... I want this but I keep doing something different"

Traditional therapies and systems work to team up with certain parts and banish others.  This can often cause backshlash as parts understandably feel upset with this.   Leading to them acting out in others ways or using a lot of energy and struggle to keep certain parts at bay.  Our system can be left in a constant state of conflict and fragmentation.

Parts can be noticed as different thoughts, images, body sensations and feelings.  As people go inside during IFS therapy they can show up in different ways. 

Many parts have been working hard for years at desperately trying to protect us and parts holding the trauma. , Although maybe end up causing harm the intention is good.

 In IFS we are helping to understand and respect all parts of your system.  This is a consent based therapy we want to get consent and support from all all parts within your system.  I see my role as a guide as I believe everyone has self energy and access to their own healing.  I feel equalling the relationship between therapist and the person coming to therapy is so important and IFS does this beautifully.

SELF-here are many ways to think about the Self. One is that it’s the seat of your consciousness, or your essential nature as a human being. Another is that this is just a way of describing your deepest, most valuable qualities, such as confidence, compassion and courage. In fact, there are eight ‘C’ qualities attributed to the Self:

• Calm
• Curiosity
• Clarity
• Connectedness
• Compassion
• Courage
• Confidence
• Creativity

Self is not all good and parts bad- in fact we think there are no "bad parts" Parts are not their roles.  However when I can support your connection between self and parts the healing begins.  Parts have more choice with how they act the feelings of internal conflicts or "polarisations" are softened.

Parts in our systems working super hard can be put into three main categories however this is not rigid.  The beauty or IFS is I am listening to you and your system so whatever works for you and your parts is key.  A brief outline...

Exiles-These are the parts within our systems holding the pain and trauma.  They are often exiled from the system (kept from consciousness) and become more extreme in a bid to be listened too or taken care of.

Protective parts- 

Managers are forward thinking and pre planing.  They try and keep the exiled parts at bay by gaining control of everyday situations and relationships. Examples maybe critic, care taker, Judger, people pleasing parts

Firefighters are activated when exiles break through or become upset.  They flood in the here and now using anything to dampen the pain.  Some examples maybe addictive processes, suicidality, dissociation

Unburdening

This is when we have consent from your system and we go in to release the exiled part from the trauma using your self.  This can end up releasing cultural or legacy burdens as well.  As this trauma is healed all parts are freed up within your system.

This does not always make the outside system we live in safe but internally frees up a lot of energy and constraints.